Dash For Power

I hope you also enjoy this diamond of a story I  found involving early American naval history. It tells us more about life aboard ship on that first great and famed naval war vessel of the new America, the mighty USS Constitution. Fondly known as Old Ironsides, which became the legendary first great pride of America at sea. Old Ironsides was a new combat vessel that carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for a crew of 475 officers and men, which was sufficient to carry them six months of sustained operations at sea. Old Ironsides carried no evaporators, which are fresh water distillers.

According to the ship’s log, “On July 27, 1798, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men. Also on board were 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum.” Her mission was to destroy and harass English shipping. On July 27, 1798? History shows the War of Independence over, those Boston Yankees got all they wanted. Surely now, wewere all English speaking members of the same family and friends? Fuddy duddy old English might have thought the Revolutionary zeal was off the American bloom, now that the revolting Americans had their freedom. Eyes on Napoleon, they had given the store away over in America as France went insane, guillotine by head, by the thousands, for decades. Madness in the voice of liberty.

Meanwhile, ignoring all this madness, Old Ironsides and her 475 officers and men arrived in English held Jamaica on 6 October. They took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then they headed for the Spanish held Azores, arriving there 12 November. The ship was provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, they set sail for England. In the ensuing days they defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each. By 26 January, their powder and shot were exhausted.

All while Napoleon while preparing his attacks on a hair trigger England, these clowns barf by, cannon shots, whether by Napoleon or Uncle Sam, not well received. Did a war happen in 1812? Why, you may well ask. I received the highest mark in my American high school in grade twelve, and we were not taught this. Only about British bully tactics, and the desire for Canada. Manifest Destiny, and all that. After the Canadians and British occupied “Fort Detroit, did we call it all a draw, and the Canadians went back over the river to Windsor. 1814. It happened.

Meanwhile, before it all came to that, Fort Detroit still freshly in American hands, and though unarmed, the mighty pirates from the USS Constitution, sobering up perhaps, made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. The landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then they headed home. The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water. Sir Walter Raleigh would not have felt that their pirating was quite as wisely managed by these wild new drunks.

Like the US Fed Chairman, Sir Walter Raleigh, a very wiser pirate, would have taken the punch bowl away as the party was beginning to really get going. Diamonds, lads, not just puking over the side rails. Oh, say, can’t you see? No Sir, not while barfing at sea. Sigh. Now these less than diamond minds brought home no diamonds or riches. Instead, they had displayed that they knew how to drink and all throw up, heads down like ostriches as they barfed over the side rails.

And if there was a diamond brain in the lot at the beginning of that journey, he held a lump of coal for brains by the time they got back to Boston., No fusty old 1776 Boston tea party brilliance from these lads: half baked beans for brains by Boston town. Diamond mind John Adams was still alive, he would have thrashed them. His favorite distillery and they brought him not a drop. Those lumps of coal. Oh well live and advance. Sigh, sigh, sigh.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 9th, 2008 at 5:18 pm and is filed under Alcohol-Good to Bad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.